德甲直播

“适当增加细节”的八大技巧

广东省中山市第一中学  吴荣华

近几年全国及各省高考卷的书面表达所提供的要点信息都较为简单，但同时也指出“可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯”。这种灵活的命题方式既给了学生较大的发挥空间，又对学生提出了更高要求。写作时，有些学生仅仅简单翻译所给信息点，文章就显得单调乏味，字数不足，达不到交际的目的。还有些学生信口开河，信马由缰，结果详略不当，偏离主题。此时，我们应该合理拓展显性信息，运用以下技巧挖掘隐性信息，才能做到适当增加细节。

一、增加原因细节

(2008全国II卷书面表达范文)参加中文学习班；

Here are a few suggestions. First, it isimportant to take a Chinese course, as you’ll be able to learn from theteacher and practice with your fellow students.以下是几点建议。首先，上汉语课很重要，因为你能向老师学习，和同学们一起练习。

(2013山东卷书面表达范文)你假期的打算(如做兼职、旅行、做志愿者等)。

During the holiday, I am going to do apart-time job. On the one hand, I can earn some money to reduce the burdenof my family. On the other hand, I can accumulate some social experience, whichdoes good to my future life.假期期间，我打算做一份兼职工作。一方面，我可以赚点钱减轻家庭负担。另一方面，我可以积累社会经验，这对我的未来生活有益。

(2014江西卷书面表达范文)其他方面：考生自拟。Finally,we should take part in sports and outdoor activities frequently, which arereally helpful to build up my body and enrich my school life.最后，我们应该经常参加体育运动和户外活动，因为它们真的有助于强身健体，丰富校园生活。

点拨：有时可以在活动类的要点信息后增加原因细节，用以解释或说明做某事的原因，使内容更充实。常用的原因表达法包括because/as引导的原因状语从句、介词for/because of, which等引导的定语从句，非谓语动词和一些句式等等。

即时练习：

⑴(2014重庆卷)你收到或送出的最好礼物是什么。

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⑵(2012天津卷) 提出邀请(邀请他一起观看演出)，简述原因。

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⑶(2015四川卷)给出讲好普通话的两点建议；

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⑷(2015云南高三二模)呼吁大家做文明游客：尊重习俗；

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二、增加结果细节

(2011全国II卷书面表达范文) 赞赏该报优点：①兼顾国内外新闻；②介绍名人成功故事

First, it covers both national andinternational news so that, by simply turning the pages, I can learn allimportant things that have happened during the week. Equally attractive arethe success stories of world-famous people, which help me understand how aperson can work hard to make the world a better place. 首先，它报道了国内和国际新闻，以至于仅仅翻一下页面，我就能了解本周发生的所有重要的事情。同样吸引人的是名人的成功故事，他们的故事帮助我理解一个人怎样努力使世界变得更美好。

(2012山东卷书面表达范文)①坚持写英语日记的作用；②英文阅读网站(EnjoyReading)对你的帮助。

I also find it useful to keep Englishdiaries, which is helpful to my English. As a saying goes, practice makesperfect. Only by practice will we make more progress. Finally, some goodEnglish study websites contribute a lot to my improvement. Through thesewebsites, I can read some classic English passages, poems and stories. What’smore, I can learn some learning skills and methodologies, which play animportant part in my study process.我也觉得写英语日记很有用，因为这对有助于我学英语。俗话说，熟能生巧。只有通过练习我们才能取得更大进步。最后，一些英语学习网站也有助于我的进步。通过这些网站，我能阅读一些经典的英语文章、诗歌和故事。此外，我还能学会一些学习技巧和方法，这些在学习过程中起着重要的作用。

点拨：有时可以在要点信息后增加结果细节，说明做某事的结果，使内容更完善。常用的结果表达法包括so that(以至于)，so/such…that…(如此…以至…)等引导的结果状语从句，which等引导的定语从句和非谓语动词等等。

即时练习：

⑸(2012辽宁卷) (现在使用的英语教材)优点：①话题广泛；②图片丰富;

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⑹(2011安徽卷) 本期校报话题是如何解决学习中遇到的困难。

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⑺(2017天一大联考)活动内容：中美学生互动。

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三、增加目的细节

(2016全国Ⅰ卷书面表达范文)暑假想去一家外贸公司兼职。

In order to get some practicalexperience, I am planning to take a part-time jobin a foreign capital company. 为了得到一些实践经验，我计划在一家外资公司做兼职。

(2015四川卷书面表达范文)提出你学习英语的具体需求。So,if you allow me to help you learn Mandarin, you can also help me improve myEnglish. We can contact each other by video chat every night for half an hourin English and half an hour in Chinese, so that we can improve our oralspeaking.因此,如果你让我帮你学汉语，你也可以帮我提高英语。我们每晚可以通过视频聊天保持联系，半小时说英语半小时说汉语，以便能提高口语。

点拨：有时可以在要点信息的前后增加目的细节，说明做某事的目的，使内容更丰富。常用的目的表达法包括in order that(为了)/so that(以便)等引导的目的状语从句，inorder to动词不定式，which等引导的定语从句等等。

即时练习：

⑻(2013天津卷) ②组织校内的活动的设想(如举办讲座、英语晚会等)；③组织校际交流活动的设想(如举办辩论赛、演讲比赛等)

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⑼(2013山东卷)你假期的打算(如做兼职、旅行、做志愿者等)

___________________________________________________________________________.

⑽(2015云南高三二模)呼吁大家做文明游客：不高声喧哗；

___________________________________________________________________________.

⑾(2013四川卷)介绍一种好的学习习惯并提出养成该习惯的建议；

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四、增加条件细节

(2015全国II卷书面表达范文) Ifyou are able to come with us, please let us know and we’ll wait for you atthe gate at 9 in themorning. 如果你能来，请让我们知道，我们上午九点会在门口等你。

(2013全国II卷书面表达范文) Ifanyone wants to know more about the knots, let them write to me. Also, dolet me know if you need further information. Thank you! 如果有人想更多了解中国结，让他们写信给我。而且，如果你需要更多信息一定要让我知道。谢谢。

点拨：有时可以在文章结尾增加条件细节，说明做某事的条件，使内容更礼貌。常用的条件表达法是if引导的条件状语从句、非谓语、定语从句和独立主格结构等等。

即时练习：

⑿(2016全国Ⅱ卷) (照片)投稿邮箱：intlphotoshow@gmschool.com.

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⒀(2015天津卷)询问对方的其他需求。

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⒁(2015北京卷)询问对方的意向。

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五、增加过程细节

(2015全国II卷书面表达范文) (敬老院)活动：包饺子、表演节目等。

We’ll go andmake dumplings and cakes with the elderly people there. We’ll alsospend some fun time together singing, dancing and playing games, whichwe hope will make them happy.

我们将去那儿与老人一起包饺子、做蛋糕。我们也会一起开心地唱歌、跳舞和做游戏，我们希望这些活动会使他们开心。

(2012全国Ⅱ卷书面表达范文)生日聚会内容:生日歌、蛋糕、游戏等

When he comes, we’ll light the candles and sing “Happy Birthday” together for him.Then the cake will be cut and we’ll sing songs and play games. It’llbe nice to see how excited he will be.

他来的时候我们会点亮蜡烛，一起为他唱生日快乐歌。接着切蛋糕唱歌做游戏。很高兴看见他多么激动。

点拨：有时可以在文章中增加过程细节，说明做某事的过程，使内容更详细。

即时练习：

⒂(2013江西卷) (登山)活动的过程；

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⒃(2017广东中山期末统测)(德甲直播高中英语口语大赛)目的和方式；

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⒄(2007四川卷)你高考后的暑期安排：③陪伴父母；④参加社会活动；

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六、增加举例细节

(2014全国Ⅱ卷书面表达范文)业余生活。

In my free time, I’ll continue to takeregular exercise, such as swimming, running and various ball games. On myholidays, I'll travel around the world. In a word, my life will be much richerand more colorful.我有空时会继续经常锻炼，比如游泳、跑步和各种球类运动。假期我会环游世界。总之，我的生活将会更加丰富多彩。

(2011全国Ⅰ卷书面表达范文) 学习暑期课程遇到一些困难，求助内容：希望得到德甲直播辅导中心(Learning Center)的帮助。

But I have some difficulties withnote-taking and I have no idea of how to use the library. I was told the Learning Center provides help for students andI’m anxious to get help from you. 但是我在做笔记方面有困难，而且不知道如何使用图书馆。我得知德甲直播辅导中心可以为学生提供帮助，因此渴望得到你们的帮助。

点拨：有时可以对要点信息进行举例说明，使内容更具体。常用的举例表达法有介词such as/like/including和for example等。

即时练习：

⒅(2013安徽卷) (“讲求文明，从我做起”)①遵守交通法规；②注意举止文明。

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⒆(2014天津卷)希望Chris做哪些事情，以增进中美学生之间的了解和友谊。

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⒇(2012四川卷)③自己英语学习存在的主要问题；④对(英语老师)教学的两点建议。

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七、增加过渡细节

(2013全国Ⅱ卷满分作文)By the way, do you know what they stand for？How can we solve the problems then?As far as I’m concerned, riding bicycles is a good solution. 顺便说一下，你知道他们代表什么吗？我们如何才能解决问题呢？我认为，骑单车是一个好的解决方法。

(2012陕西卷书面表达范文)Firstly, I collected all the books, newspapers and otherthings scattered in the rooms and put them in place. Then I wiped thedust off all the furniture. After that, I swept and mopped the floors. 首先,我把所有的书籍、报纸和其他的散落在屋子里的东西收集起来放好,接着我扫去所有家具上的灰尘,然后我扫地、拖地。

点拨：可以在文章中增加过渡细节，将各个要点和文章各部分之间衔接起来，使内容更连贯。常用插入语来表示过渡，如worse still, besides等形容词和副词，to tell the truth, generally speaking等非谓语，by the way, in a word等介词短语，if you please, as we all know等从句，what’s more, as far as I’m concerned等分句。

即时练习：

(21)(2013四川卷)____________(正如我们所知), good learning habits contribute to efficient study. __________(也就是说), without good learning habits,the efficiency cannot be guaranteed.

(22)(2011江西卷) ____________(一方面), bicycles don’t need any petrol and they are energy–saving. ___________(另一方面), bicycles are environmentallyfriendly because they won’t give off waste gas. ___________(此外), riding bicycles is a good wayfor us to exercise and it is beneficial to our health. ___________(总之), I am sure the show will befantastic if it is held in Shanghai Museum.

(23)(2013上海卷) ____________ (更重要的是), not only do I have perfect and enough learning materials, but Ialso have rich experience. ____________(最后但也很重要的是), I have joined a variety of activities in and out of the school. __________(总之), I think I have thequalification to be a tutor.

八、增加展望细节

(2012全国Ⅱ卷书面表达范文)I’m sure you’ll have a good time at the party, too. 我确信你在聚会上也会玩得很高兴。

(2011全国II卷书面表达范文)提出建议：刊登指导英语学习的文章。

As a young student, I suggest that GlobalMirror carry articles to guide us in our English learning, and I hope thatit will become even more popular. 作为一名年轻学生，我建议Global Mirror周报刊登文章引导我们学习英语，我希望它会变得更加受欢迎。

(2016天津卷书面表达范文)表达祝愿与期望。Atlast，on behalf ofall the students in our school，I wish you will have a safe and happy journey home and that therewill be more programs like this in the future. 最后，代表德甲直播全体同学，我祝你回家旅途平安快乐，将来会有更多像这样的项目活动。

点拨：有时可以在文章结尾增加展望细节，用来总结全文且展望前景，使内容更全面。常用I hope, I’m sure, I wish, I believe等句式表示展望。

即时练习：

(24) (2015陕西卷) 我相信我能不辜负你们的期望。如果你能考虑一下我我会十分感激。

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(25) (2011浙江卷) 我相信，在老师和同学们的共同努力下，德甲直播在不久的将来会变成一个更加快乐的地方。感谢你的考虑。

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(26) (2013安徽卷) 我希望我的行为会起到作用。

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(27)(2014上海卷)在这里我希望我的建议能为德甲直播英语报的改版增添壮丽的一笔。

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(28)(2014江西卷) 不劳无获。我相信在你的努力下，你会在这里过上丰富多彩富有成效的生活。

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总之，增加细节应该画龙点睛而非画蛇添足。这就要求学生根据背景、主题、常识、题材、体裁以及所给信息，从实际需要出发，短话长说，进行合理有效的补述和追述，以使文章有血有肉、连贯饱满。

巩固练习：

(2017广东七校联考二)假定你是高中学生李华，你的美国朋友Jim即将升入中国的一所高中学习，想让你给他一些学习建议。请你给他写一封电子邮件，内容包括：

1. 与老师交流，征求老师意见；

2. 上课积极参与讨论，专心听讲，做好笔记；

3. 课后积极完成作业，巩固知识。

注意：1.词数100左右；

2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

即时练习参考答案：

⑴The best gift I’ve ever received is a book from my Englishteacher, Debbie. The book’s name is Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul: The RealDeal: Friends. I value this book because it shows me how to keep the balance offriendship in a positive way.

⑵Of course, besides going to the theater, we can do some othermeaningful things, such as visiting the museum or the art gallery nearby, whichboth contain a lot of items of great value.

⑶Learning Mandarin takes time, so if you want to learn itwell, you should spend much time practicing Mandarin everyday. As the sayinggoes, practice makes perfect. Besides, you can also read some books in Chinese、seesome Chinese films and listen to some Chinese radio programs. Speaking andlistening are very important for language learning, by which you are sure tomake great progress.

⑷Firstly, we must respect and follow local customs, becausethere are cultural differences in different countries. If Chinese people ignorethese cultural differences, they seem to behave improperly in foreigncountries.

⑸These books have many advantages. One of them is that we canfind a variety of topics, such as science, culture and history. These topics, Ithink, are very popular with us students. What’s more, along with the textsthere are many beautiful and colorful pictures, which can help us understandEnglish better.

⑹When I am faced with a difficulty, usually choose to refer torelevant learning materials or Web pages. In this way, I can not only work itout but also improve my ability to overcome problems all by myself. However,when it is something beyond my competence, I turn to my classmates or teachersfor help. Sometimes, I also ask my parents for advice. As a result, I have madesteady progress in my studies.

⑺After that, we will have some time for interactive activitiesand various questions, through which we can have a better understanding of eachother.

⑻Also, to improve our English and get more students interestedin English, I intend to organize some activities at school like lectures andEnglish parties and inter-school ones such as English debate competitions andspeech contests.

⑼By the way, I have a busy schedule for my summer vacation。Firstand foremost, I would do a part-time job so that my interpersonal skills wouldbe improved。

⑽Secondly, do not speak loudly while eating or walking so thatothers will not be disturbed.

⑾Therefore, in order to establish a good learning habit, suchas reviewing what we have studied regularly, we should revise the course wehave learned and try hard to recite something important. Only by doing this canwe learn all the courses well and achieve better grades.

⑿If you want to join, you can send your photos tointlphotoshow@gmschool.com.

⒀Should you need any other things, please do not hesitate totell us.

⒁If you are interested in it, let me know and I’ll send you more information.

⒂It was a nice day. At 8:00 am, we gathered at the foot ofDaqing Moutain and set out for the top in high spirits. All the way we werechatting, singing and laughing, enjoying the fresh air and the beautifulscenery. When some fell behind, others would come and offer help. About 2 hourslater, we all reached the top. Bathed in sunshine, we jumped and cheered withjoy.

⒃Our purpose is to give the competitors an opportunity to showtheir talents in learning English and encourage the other students to workharder. The competitors are required to give a brief self-introduction, readaloud a story by imitating and deliver a speech on the given topic within fiveminutes.

⒄I’ll spend some time staying with my parents, chatting withthem and doing some housework. They’ve done so much for me, you know. Ifpossible, I’ll take part in some social activities so that I can know moreabout the society.

⒅I will keep traffic rules in mind all the way. If I ride abicycle, I’ll always keep to the right and never cross a road until the trafficlight turns green. If I walk, I’ll never forget to use the pedestrian crossing.Meanwhile, I’ll regard it as my duty to help keep our environment clean andhealthy. Not only will I keep from littering and spitting anywhere, I will alsohelp clean up the roadside litter whenever possible.

⒆Last of all, I would appreciate it if you can do something,such as helping us practise our spoken English, and introducing something aboutAmerican culture, to promote the understanding and friendship between thestudents of the two countries.

⒇My English is just OK and the two main problems in my studyare that I feel it difficult to learn words by heart, and that I often feelnervous when speaking English. I really hope that you can give me good adviceon how to memorize new words. Another suggestion is to give us more chances topractice speaking.

(21)As we all know, Thatis to say

(22)For one thing, Foranother, What’s more, To sum up,

(23)More importantly, Lastbut not least, All in all

(24) I am sure that I canperfectly live up to your expectations. I will be grateful if you could give mea kind consideration.

(25) I believe that, withthe joint efforts of both teachers and students, our school will become a moreenjoyable place in the near future. Thank you for your consideration.

(26) I hope my behaviorwill make a difference.

(27) Here I am in thehope that my advice will add a brilliant touch to the improved version of ourschool English Post.

(28) No pains, no gains.I am sure that with your great efforts, you will enjoy a colourful and fruitfullife here.

巩固练习参考答案：

Dear Jim,

   Having learned that you’ll be a seniorstudent, how delighted I am. In your last email you mentioned that you areconfused by how to study well in senior high school. Now, I’d like to share mystudy tips with you.

   First, you’d better communicate with yourteachers regularly. In this way, they may offer some great advice on bothyour study and life. Second, why not involve yourself in each classactively, listen to the teacher attentively and take notes carefully so thatyou can review later? Third, it’s a good idea to do your homework on timesoon after school, which will help you practice what you have learned andmake it fresh in your mind.

   I sincerely hope my advice can behelpful to you and that you can enjoy your new school life.

Best wishes!